Page Twenty One

in which a lot that has been said will be said again.


"What?"

"How c'n I be o' ser-vice t'ye?"

Winn blinked. If Charles were here he would demand the plot be sped forward so he could lop off some heads. But his brother was no longer and-

"Ohh! Could you like, maybe find us a crepe stand? I'm so craving something sweet and girlish to hold and pretend to eat while I stand around looking cute!"

-replaced with this blondie here. Winn sighed.

"Well... I don't think it's really something you could help with," he pet the little guy on the head. "But we'd still like to take you with us if you don't mind."

Sir Reginald of the Face-Palm Squires scoffed and waved off the offending hand.

"Ah' ye belittlin' meh? Y'sayin' this pro'lem here ye got's t' big fer a li'l guy like me, eh?"

"No, uh, that's not what I was-"

"Ye lookin' down on us Face-Palm Squires, ah ye?"

"Yes, well -no, I mean-"

"Y'dun think we amoun' t'nothi' doth ye? Huh?"

Winn scratched his head and looked to Chester for help. She shrugged.

"Geez Winny, stop being such a jerk."

He looked back down at the little guy, chest puffed out, ready for a fight. Winn sighed again and squated so he could pat the little guy some more.

"Well um, maybe you could, well, listen to my problem, and then, well-"

"Well what, men, y'lookin' fer a well or somethins? Git on with i'," Sir Reginald shook a fist at him.

He stopped mid pat. This little guy here was awfully impatient.

"Well-"

"Ah-hem."

"Alright, alright! My brother's missing."

Collective gasps.

"Aye deary me," the squire shook his head sympathetically.

"Winn! You had a brother? When did this happen?!"

Winn gave Charlene the most flabbergasted and disgruntled look he could muster up (ie: this: ) before turning back to the little fluffy squire and patting him some more.

"Well, he's not really gone per say... I mean, this here blondie- er, this girl you see right here beside me. She's technically my sister at the moment, but she used to be my brother."

Sir Reginald of the Face-Palm Squires gaped at him for a moment before shaking his head and throwing his arms up.

"Eh, lis'en, kid. Now, I know s'not me place t' be throwin' my opi-nyuns around he'e, but uh, s'not much I can do 'bout that, really. S'yer broth- sis'er's choice, y'know, an' ye gotta respec-"

Winn facepalmed again.

"Heyhey, no needa do that no more -y' lis'ening to me? Yer sister now, uh-"

"No, that's not what I meant. It was a curse-"

"A curse huh, well now tha's a diff'ren' story entirely."

"Yes, a curse! You see, I angered this mermaid of ug- ugly mermaid, I mean, when I stole her hat? And she cursed me and my family and somehow, maybe since Charles was adopted, his side effects didn't really start until after he learned about the curse."

"Adopted, eh? In-ter-es-ting."

"Winny! Mom and Dad adopted another boy? Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Right, right. And for some odd reason he's acting like a bootlegged version of my real sister, who he isn't, because she's off in boarding school."

"Yer real sister, eh?"

"Mm-hmm," Winn nodded. "But the real Chester's smarter than this, and the narcissism is quite Charles-like. I'd like to change him back, but see, in order to do that we have to change the health-care system of this country here, and without Charles to run around and lop heads off bodies, we're in quite a dilemma, you see?"

The fluffy squire blinked quite a few times before sighing a seemingly amused sigh -which confused Winn because he hadn't found the face-palm inducing dilemma to be amusing at all -and shook his head at Winn again. Being the slow one he was, Winn was starting, just now, to feel like he was being patronized.

"Now, th'way I see i', this here pro'lem's somethin' y'gotta solve fer ye'self!"

"But there's no way-"

"Now, frum what ye've tole meh, this brother o' yers isn' good fer much but loppin' off heads."

"I feel like I should feel a bit offended on his behalf," Chester tiled her head and poked her bottom lip girlishly. "Must be my girlish motherly instincts."

"An' to turn yer dear brother back in th' first place y'gotta change some byu-ree-kra-ticks don'cha?"

"Well-"

"So th'way I see it, this is a challenged made fer ye'self!" Sir Reginald gestured dramatically. "Fate has come knockin' like dead-Beethoven an' y'gotta go forth an' adventure ye own adventure! "s a test of character growth!"

"Adventure my wha- growth?"

"Yeah! Winny! Y'gotta adventure your own adventure!"

"Guys, that's not a real ver-"

And with that the fluffy squire of Face-Palm turned with a snappy farewell gesture and set off into the horizon in all his fluffiness.

"I miss him already," Winn found himself saying. That fluffiness was so reminiscent of their long-dead Lindy the-

"Oh righty, almos' fergot," Sir Reginald jogged back to the adventurers. "That'll be two gold coins."

"You're gonna charge me for that?!"